


Tomorrow isn't inevitable

by LieutenantHavers



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: 02x03 spoilers, Before I say goodbye, I cried writing this, M/M, Sad gays, Secret Relationship, Stargazing, The Captain cannot handle his emotions, The Captain doesn't know how to say "I Love You", maybe i projected a bit much, pre flashbacks in 02x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 07:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26847832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutenantHavers/pseuds/LieutenantHavers
Summary: They would always have tomorrow… until they didn’t.Havers has received approval for his transfer, but cannot bear to tell The Captain, so he says something else he's also never been able to say before. They're stargazing and it's a little bit gay and a lot a bit sad.
Relationships: The Captain/William Havers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 80





	Tomorrow isn't inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I wrote this tiny fic for Esther, sorry if I made you cry x

Their makeshift picnic had been abandoned a couple metres away, not long after the pair had begun reminiscing over how they missed their mother’s sandwiches more than anything else since they had enlisted. It was in the moments that they could steal alone, like that night, that Havers had attempted to commit every inch of The Captain’s face to memory, right down to the constellation of freckles that covered his cheeks. He had received his transfer summons to the front only half a day prior, and was yet to tell the man he loved that he had to leave him behind. 

The Captain tilted his head to the side upon feeling the warm eyes on him from where Havers laid beside him, a soft smile, the type he saved only for Havers, taking over his face as he tangled their hands together. “You know, there’s a sight above us far more enthralling than the side of my head,” Cap muttered, glancing back to the stars above them as if to prove his point. 

Havers was unconvinced, preferring to look at the constellations on the man he loved over the ones offered by the Gods above, simply humming in response and running the pad of his thumb across the back of Cap’s hand. He couldn’t force the news from his lips of his imminent departure. He wanted one more night where everything was okay; where it was just them and the stars and that feeling of limitlessness that Havers had tied to feeling of The Captain’s hand in his own.

Neither of them had experienced anything like what they shared before, The Captain had preferred to mythologise it to be able to emotionally handle it, whilst Havers savoured it for everything it was worth. They knew it couldn’t become what they dreamed it would, but the nights they could steal: they made every risk worth it. The Captain loved in longing glances and subtle but warm hands threaded through soft brunette locks and Havers loved in whispered words of affirmation and soft kisses to the juncture of The Captain’s neck, but they both loved with every lasting breath and thought that left their lips, and unfortunately they both loved on borrowed time.

Enough nights had been spent hidden on that same hill, staring at the stars, that the two didn’t need words to communicate. Past descriptions of the constellations Havers had named for The Captain taunted them from the sky, reminders that whilst the two of them could never remain for eternity, their love could in the stars. It was an iniquitous fate that beheld them.

Havers’ mind was running at a million miles a minute as he bathed in the rare but beautiful glow of Cap’s happiness, trying once more to find the words he wanted to say, but instead he said, “You know, I think I might be a little bit in love with you, Teddy.” 

They were words they hadn’t dared say aloud before, an unspoken agreement, much to Havers dismay, and it seemed his subconscious had abandoned that agreement in exchange for some closure. He felt The Captain’s body stiffen before he could perceive it on his face. And as much as he didn’t expect the words to be repeated back to him, a small part of him hoped, and a large part of him consequently died when he was met with only silence and an empty coldness where The Captain’s hand had seconds ago been in his.

“I think we should probably turn in Lieutenant, The Operation won’t finish itself come morning.” The Captain’s voice was distant and clearly affected, a tell Havers was unfathomably grateful to be able to hear, but equally distraught to have to have heard at all. The Captain was already on his feet, as reserved and collected as he was in the presence of others, even though they both knew Havers was the only man for half a mile. 

Havers pushed himself off the floor hurriedly, wanting to reach out but knowing by the look on The Captains face that he had already made himself utterly unreachable. He wondered how many other men would know what it was like to love a man who could turn himself to stone. “Right you are sir,” Havers regrettably replied, picking up the satchel they had packed their food in and preparing for a silent walk back to the base. 

The Captain’s mind was plagued with the voices he had grown accustomed to hearing, of his sister telling him to be careful who he trusted, of his mother telling him to not get hurt and of his father telling him that emotions were a privilege for men far stronger than he. The Captain had modelled himself on a man that pretended not to feel but had no reason to fear the feelings within, but The Captain knew that he himself had a reason to fear what his father didn’t. He had always been a creature of both fear and feeling, but when he was reminded of the existence of the two in the same breath he wished he were one of those men far stronger than himself that his father had spoken of, one of those men that could tackle their fear and conquer their feelings. Havers was one of those men. He was equally a reminder that The Captain never would be one of those men.

The Captain was forever thankful that they would always have tomorrow, that whilst they occupied the same existence in the same military base, Havers would return to him with that forgiving smile of his and take The Captain into his arms in the dead of the night and remind him to let himself feel the love between them, to let himself feel loved by another. 

They would always have tomorrow… until they didn’t.


End file.
